Ok, so I never finished writing a review for the "Boundaries" book and started reading another book. It's the sanguine in me. But, I will eventually write the part 2 review for the "Boundaries" book.
This new book I'm reading is for a very specific audience - moms with daughters. It's a REALLY good book so far - the sort of book I find to be very helpful. Full of genuine, frank, diverse advice for moms. It's not preachy or full of fluff. The things she writes about are right-on and she gives lots of inspiring ideas too. Sure, she's more traditional than your typical Xenos mom, but that's true of any Christian parenting book. You can take some of the Christian-culture things with a grain of salt. The thing I really love so far is that one page will have facts about eating disorders and then the next page will have a box filled with classic mom-daughter movie choices. It is exactly that sort of thing that will inspire a mom to have good quality interactions with her daughter.
"You will probably be surprised one day when you ask your daughter what she remembers most about your times together. Most often it isn't the grand, planned, mother-daughter occasions - but the small kindnesses, the little notes on her pillow or in her lunch box, the "folding laundry and watching a video" times of coziness and warmth and fun." - p.20
If you are a mother of a daughter aged 5-15, you should probably buy this book and look at it occasionally. I rented this copy from the library - but, I plan on buying a copy to keep. I'll write a longer review when I finish it - it's possible that the book will go downhill from here and if that's the case, I'll let y'all know.
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom. Show all posts
Monday, October 18, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads by R. Wiseman
I read the first 4 chapters of this book today; I also own her more famous previous book: "Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence" This is not a Christian book, and so you have to read it with Biblical wisdom in the back of your mind trumping the worldly ideas; however, I think that she makes some really interesting and astute observations about social dynamics.
In the Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads book, the author is trying to demystify some of the weird social pressures we feel as parents. Like zombies we all start doing things like: dads = organize the garage and make the lawn nice. Moms = go to the school and talk to the principle about getting our kid in the gifted program. These pressures come from our ideas of what a real man is like, or what a real woman is like. For example: a real man can talk about sports, mow the lawn, provide for his family, and not be controlled by his wife. A real woman can look great, be busy all the time, have well-behaved children, and have a lot of friends. Some parents thrive in these conditions (the Queen Bees and the Kingpins), but others languish and feel hopeless (the Wannabes).
It's really thought-provoking to see these ideals being questioned. Even though this is from a liberal/modern point of view - which in reality has it's own set of standards (i.e. each couple is perfectly 50/50 in everything, we're green, we teach tolerance, we don't discipline, etc..)- I think it's good to smash down some of the bullcrap icons we have in our heads about what is really important in life. They should be replaced, of course, by God's values and priorities rather than just some other set of human standards. But, it is still helpful to think through. If we choose to speak to the principal and mow the lawn - it should be because we want to and think it's right - not because we blindly follow a worldly standard of social pressure.
She speaks out against racism, violence/bullying, and extreme pressure. She also makes the point that we, as parents, should resist the temptation to take identity from our children's success. It's an iconoclastic work to be sure, but I realised when reading it, that it is more of a sequel than a stand-alone book - and I really should read the other book first (Queen Bees and Wannabes). So, I will have more to say on these books later.
In the Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads book, the author is trying to demystify some of the weird social pressures we feel as parents. Like zombies we all start doing things like: dads = organize the garage and make the lawn nice. Moms = go to the school and talk to the principle about getting our kid in the gifted program. These pressures come from our ideas of what a real man is like, or what a real woman is like. For example: a real man can talk about sports, mow the lawn, provide for his family, and not be controlled by his wife. A real woman can look great, be busy all the time, have well-behaved children, and have a lot of friends. Some parents thrive in these conditions (the Queen Bees and the Kingpins), but others languish and feel hopeless (the Wannabes).
It's really thought-provoking to see these ideals being questioned. Even though this is from a liberal/modern point of view - which in reality has it's own set of standards (i.e. each couple is perfectly 50/50 in everything, we're green, we teach tolerance, we don't discipline, etc..)- I think it's good to smash down some of the bullcrap icons we have in our heads about what is really important in life. They should be replaced, of course, by God's values and priorities rather than just some other set of human standards. But, it is still helpful to think through. If we choose to speak to the principal and mow the lawn - it should be because we want to and think it's right - not because we blindly follow a worldly standard of social pressure.
She speaks out against racism, violence/bullying, and extreme pressure. She also makes the point that we, as parents, should resist the temptation to take identity from our children's success. It's an iconoclastic work to be sure, but I realised when reading it, that it is more of a sequel than a stand-alone book - and I really should read the other book first (Queen Bees and Wannabes). So, I will have more to say on these books later.
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